The core of who we are does not change as we get older, but the understanding we gain with age and experience alters the way we express ourselves. Personal growth is not something we think about often, but that is changing as we become less ambitious and more focused on what matters to us.
His love for the family keeps us close, yet being around others can still be painful. I endure it without indication hoping he’ll be a better man than me because of it. But he offers so much more than just a bridge: he makes me understand my limitations; he shows me the value of innocence; he gives me a purpose.
We sat by the lake and ate lunch as he read from the book we have been reading together daily as a family. The boy was intently listening as he shoved a stick in the dirt all the while feeding his face. I crunched my meal while listening. Taking the moment in and realizing what was happening.
While we spend a great deal of time pondering the past and planning for the future, neither of them is occurring right now. The only time we ever live is in the present, but the present is elusive, changing in each nanosecond; we cannot stop the flow of time to examine a fixed present moment.
Not that I understand how they’re used, but there are three altars visible from my seat on this veranda. Each one has a small stone statue of something like a Buddha, with candles and flowers nearby. One of the girls on the staff is visiting them with incense and little food offerings wrapped in banana leaf while I sit, lounging on the veranda and catching up with writing. She changed into a sarong before praying, which fascinates me since I don’t understand anything about the ritual. Or Hindus in general. But I am sure of one thing, they are not the heathens I learned about in church.
As our concentration increases and our understanding of the body, feelings, mind, and phenomena being impermanent, unsatisfactory, and not self deepens, we will reach a point where the breakthrough by wisdom arises.