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This is Doug. The boy met him nearly two years ago when we sent him over to ask if he could walk through their yard on his way to the bus stop, and our two families have been developing a great kinship since then.
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It is very important for each of us to understand why some relationships get pruned and others thrive. That awareness can be very useful. Communicating it can often be tricky, though, since there is a balance between the intimacy and privacy invasion. But in this case, I'm sure Doug has some idea how great he is — hopefully he takes our frequent reminders seriously.
Doug is the kind of person who may not realize how much he can teach someone like Vassar. Besides being another example of a self-made, educated, and successful man, he is a good person with a hands-on approach to life. That’s why we send Vassar over there every time he has work to do — because helping is learning, and, at fourteen, skills are like future options worth gold.
Middle school is ending, so our attention has been focused on getting this guy to think about the gradual yet imminent process of becoming a man. We like when the right people participate.
When I was his age my mom was so busy working that I cannot recall if anyone else besides me was really involved — and I was too unaware back then to recall if that was truly the case. But nowadays there are many good people in his life who contribute either directly or from afar, and we are thankful for them all.
I guess we may have to start using his actual name soon. It’ll be weird when we eventually have to stop calling him “boy”; soon it won’t be very fitting.