Revamping life from cruise control-induced pain to a more thoughtful method has been a long, slow process that has now taken over ten years. It improves exponentially as it evolves. Yet when the changes began, they were unintentional. Back then I didn’t even know what I wanted out of life; I questioned each rare insight for its meaning, attempting to understand my direction.

The evolution of my being had a life of its own, so it was outside of my control — but, unbeknownst to me then, I handled everything else all wrong because I didn’t understand my authority as a translator of life events.

Instead of uselessly asking myself “what does this mean?” I should have been assigning values. With a better understanding of its malleability, life from the beginning would have a been a lot easier.

She was the catalyst that changed it. I didn’t know myself well before then, so from its beginning our relationship has made me question everything I believed about me. Who knew? It wasn’t her intent, but she showed me how to live. And now, without so much searching for meaning, I have transitioned to more of a benevolent interpreter with little concern for other definitions.